Bureaucracy torture

Patience is a virtue and it will be tested to the limit when dealing with bureaucracy in Spain. ​Since arriving here we have had to apply for several pieces of paperwork and the experience has been pretty typical each time. It usually goes like this:
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• Read up beforehand on the documentation required to get said paperwork, from the official government website.
• Arrive at government office on day of appointment, confident that you have everything needed and that this time things will all go smoothly. 
• Upon arrival, discover a chaotic scene, with nobody having any idea which queue to join.
• Find queue. Wait in line.
• Wait longer.
• Finally, you are next. At this point, the official for your queue goes on a break. 
• Eventually the official returns and it is your turn.
• The official reviews your paperwork, making grunting noises indicating displeasure. Your confidence begins to wane.
• The official discusses your case at some length with a colleague and then speaks to you in extremely fast Spanish whilst shaking their head. You begin to understand that there is one essential document that you do not have.
• Attempt to use your very basic Spanish to discover name of missing document. The official becomes increasingly frustrated. You realise that your attempts at the local language are not charming like your Spanish friends told you.
• Admit failure and resort to Google Translate on your phone.
• Exasperated official eventually writes down the name of the missing document. Leave in failure.
• Another day. Source missing document. Return to the government office.
• A different official reviews your documentation this time. Informs you that there is another required document that you do not have.
• ​Bang head against wall
• ​​Repeat as many times as amuses the officials trying to pass the day.
• Return with all the documentation that you own in a large bin-bag, including your reports from primary school (just in case).
• The official grudgingly confirms that you finally have all the right documentation this time, but ha! your application cannot be processed because you haven´t provided photocopies of the original documentation. You lose.
• Trawl nearby streets to find a photocopying shop and pay exorbitant rate to get copies.
• Return and watch in disbelief as the official makes photocopies of your photocopies, and then returns your photocopies to you….eh??
• Breathe a sigh of relief as the official hands over a slip of paper to confirm that your documentation is now complete.
• Discover that you now need to pay a fee, and that no, you can´t do that here, you need to do so at a bank.
• Find a bank, then wait 30 minutes while the customer in front of you empties the contents of their cents jar onto the counter. Pay fee and get paperwork stamped by the bank.
• Return to government office. After having lost place in queue, hover near official´s desk vainly trying to make eye contact.
• After being ignored for 10 minutes, forget any manners and jump in at the next opportunity. Hand over paid slip and finally receive stamped paperwork...success!
• ​Smile jubilantly as you leave the office and go and have a cold caña to celebrate. After all, mañana is another day 😊